Envelopes

I was 20 years old when my mom handed me a large box of what seemed like a gazillion photos. I was working for my parents’ ministry at the time, and I remember rolling my eyes and grumbling about the less-than-glamourous task ahead. I put on a fake smile and began grouping them into white manila envelopes and wrote in blue pen the church event, family gathering or date of the photos on the front. At the time that I was arranging them, I never pictured my life being a whole lot different than it was at that time. In my head, I planned more events, family gatherings & dates in my mind… a wedding, kids, a house… I had it all figured out. I just knew that someday I’d have a box of white envelopes of my own.

Jump to current times.... several months back, I found an old dusty box in the back of my closet that I didn’t recognize. When I opened it up, I found that it was full of those white envelopes with blue writing on the front. I pulled out the first one that held photos of my parents 15th year in ministry anniversary celebration. Then another was my mom and I singing at an outdoor church function. The more envelopes I opened, the more that the memories came flooding back. I began to be filled with more emotion than I was prepared for, so I quickly put all the envelopes back in the box. Later that day, I realized that I was still reeling emotionally from the feelings that all those pictures brought back. With the tragic loss of my entire family in 2003, sometimes looking back has made it hard to move forward. In addition to the good times, there was also pain, hurt & confusion in those envelopes, so I decided to just put them back in the box for another day.

If we’re being honest, we all have a box of envelopes that frankly we’d rather just shove in the back of the closet. It’s hard to move past those envelopes...the internal filing cabinet of our soul that everyone possesses. It’s painful to allow ourselves to really heal & move forward in what God has for us. However, the truth is, we can’t really move forward until we begin to allow God to heal the hurts of our past.

For you, your envelopes may hold the hurts of a failed marriage, disappointment, abuse, loss, rejection, insecurity....the list goes on and on. So, how do we truly become free from the past hurts and wounds in our lives that are hindering us from moving forward into all that God has for us?

God wants us to be free, and He sent Jesus as THE sacrifice for our freedom and wholeness in every way. He’s also provided powerful tools for us to overcome in His Word. There are many more, but here are 3 of the top things that have helped me in my journey of healing:

1-    Choose To Live By Faith

Faith is trusting in God when we don’t see it, when we don’t feel it, when we don’t have anything together. It’s coming to Him when we’re broken and when we’re hurting. When I lost my family, I had to trust God through the pain. I had questions, fears and confusion, but I knew that HE was the healer and NOT the one who caused this pain, so I ran TO Him. I had to choose to get up every day and take baby steps. There is a supernatural power in faith. Simply believing without knowing or seeing the answer connects you with God’s power to be able to leave behind the hurts & pains of your past.

2-    Refuse Guilt & Shame  

Wholeness is a journey (it’s a marathon, not a sprint), and the life of faith is something that’s learned and exercised. The Bible says in Romans 10:17, “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God…” The devil likes to shame us into believing the lie of, “you should be over this by now...” or “you should be further along in this journey by now.” And He LOVES to get us to compare ourselves to others. But truthfully, there is no timeline – it's our job to just keep walking towards Jesus. Psalm 84:5 says, “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.” In other words, there is blessing when our hearts & our faith are set on HIM! Shame and guilt cannot coexist with true freedom in Christ. Remind the devil who GOD says you are and keep marching forward in faith.

3-    Keep Your Eyes On Jesus!

Hebrews 12:1-2 says “…And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith...” Now, this doesn’t just mean looking at Him... one translation even says “fixing” our eyes on Jesus. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, the pain of our past and our current situations are diminished in the light of His perfect grace & love for us. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, we are telling our soul (mind, will, emotions) how to live… it’s supernatural! By doing this, we are refusing to be led by our natural feelings or circumstances. How do you do this? For me, it’s through spending time with God. I do this by turning on great worship music that focuses my eyes back on Jesus, by listening to podcasts of preachers and leaders who fill my tank and help re-set my thinking, and just with simple devotional time reading my Bible and meditating on scriptures that build my faith.

I hope this encourages you and helps you grow in your journey! Remember, if God is for you, then who (or what) can be against you? It's time to let your faith rise, let go of the past and move forward in freedom. God loves you and so do I!

READ: Jeremiah 29:11 & Philippians 3:12-14

PRAY: Lord, I cast all my cares upon you right now. I refuse to stay locked up in the past. I  accept your freedom and will put all my faith in You right now. Thank you, Jesus, for making my heart whole and free. I will keep my eyes fixed on You, and I believe by faith that you are doing a miracle in my heart. In Jesus' Name, amen!